In an ideal world, “coming out” wouldn’t be necessary. It would be unnecessary to specify who you love and who you don’t, because no one would assume your likes and dislikes. However, living in a heteronormative society, many people go through the process of accepting and then revealing their sexual orientation.

Many friends or family members worry about how to be there during this process and find a way to help. First of all, there’s no manual. There’s no 10-point guide on how to help your friend recognize their sexuality.

The LGBT center states that each case and context is different, and instructions can’t be created because each situation has its own needs. There will be people who will experience it naturally and others who won’t. The latter will likely need professional help.

The coming out process will continue until society understands that there’s a large percentage of people with non-normative sexual behavior. Often the process starts when you meet other lesbians in everyday life.

Feeling Safe to Come Out?

A person will only recognize their sexual orientation when they feel safe, because despite the progress made, the subject remains taboo in many contexts. Many people don’t share it at work, justifying it by saying it’s part of their private life, but asserting that being LGBT is a political act.

It’s essential not to presume anyone’s heterosexuality. “The coming out process will continue until society understands that there’s a large percentage of people with non-normative sexual behavior. It’s important for heterosexuals to educate themselves. Reading an LGBT magazine, watching movies, talking and listening are small actions that help LGBT people feel accompanied and understood. It’s important to know that supporting someone is as simple as not laughing at LGBT-phobic jokes and drawing attention to any discriminatory behavior towards the community.

Supporting Your Friend in This Complex Process

Coming out is not an easy process, but today’s society is more open. Alan, a member of the LGBT center, explains that while there are still parents who don’t accept their children’s sexual preference, there are many others who come to them asking for tools to support them. Not only do they accept and respect them, but they also want to be prepared to support them in the best possible way.

Thirty years ago, there were no reference points, people from the LGBT community were not taken into account. And the rare times they appeared in movies or series, they were portrayed in a mocking tone. So never make your friend feel that way, support them in the face of criticism.

WHO’s Decision on Homosexuality

It was only relatively recently, in 1990, that the WHO removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses, and since then, gradually, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals have become increasingly part of everyday life in the world. So don’t hesitate to remind your friend of this to help them in their coming out.

Forty years ago, there were no LGBT references, whereas today the media landscape is filled with public figures who defend their sexual orientation.

But it’s only in the last decade that many public figures have openly accepted their sexual orientation, which has helped to normalize it. Children and young people have LGBT idols who are famous singers, actors, or influencers. Moreover, many of them not only recognize their sexuality but embrace it.

Society has evolved, and today, coming out is not as significant a loss as it was 40 years ago. Associations agree that it’s important to avoid a painful process that leads to depression, to support individuals, defend them, and, of course, respect them.

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